No Overnights

So, we don't know what is going on.  Things can be quite cryptic with the county.  All that we know is that there are no overnight visits taking place in the near future.  Didn't get a reason, just that we will continue to do our usual 2 hour Friday visits.  I am thanking God for his protection and His unique ways of showing me He is in control.  Please continue to pray for Fridays' visits and for our interaction with the birth mom.  The court hearing is September 24th which is right around the corner.  Until then we will enjoy the time we have with our beautiful daughter.

Your prayers and support are a comfort.  

Holding On

So, a month to the day we will find out the future of our daughter Alyssa. Trying to stay afloat would be an understatement for our lives right now. The social worker is going to recommend reunification for the birth mother and Alyssa. It will be up to the judge to decide what is best for her.

We begin overnight visits this week. I cannot begin to explain how that makes me feel, so I won't try. I am praying and praying for protection for Aly and hoping that the time with her birth mother is positive and fruitful. I don't want any ill will for her mother. She is doing exactly what the judge has asked of her. She is fighting for her daughter and for that I admire her strength. My heart and emotions are changing through this process. Although Alyssa is my daughter and loosing her would be the biggest loss of my life, I want her mother to do well. I pray that our love for Alyssa will continue long after she forgets we were even a part of her life. I pray that it will help her to attach with her birth mother and learn to trust all over again. If I say that I am afraid for her, am I doubting God's ability to protect? If I say that I can't see her being loved more than she is loved here, am I incapable of comprehending the power that God's love has for us? So, I trust the one who orchestrates our lives and gave Alyssa to our care. He will watch over her and give her the strength to get through the life that lies ahead.

I am so scared of loosing her but ready for God's plan to unfold. All this waiting and surviving is exhausting.

I will rejoice with those who rejoice and I will mourn with those who mourn, Jesus said. I do believe I am beginning to understand that those two emotions can happen simultaneously and I must believe that the Lord will sustain us. So, pray for Alyssa as these next two months may prove to be challenging and inconsistent for her. Pray for her birth mother. That God would give her strength to carry this through. And please pray as we learn how to talk to our boys about their sister.

We await God's plan. We hold on until then.